


The pen, the word and the heart

by szczepter



Series: 30 days cheesy tropes challenge [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Also cheese, Anonymous Love Letters, Dorks in Love, Gen, Love Letters, M/M, a lot of it, also i cant titles???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 09:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6560971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/szczepter/pseuds/szczepter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tetsuya wasn't a poet.</p>
<p>By no means.</p>
<p>He was a coward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The pen, the word and the heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boats_birds](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boats_birds/gifts).



> for Hillary!! Because she writes me soooo many lovely things so I had to give back even if just a tiny bit sob.  
> Also for her because she was the one who gave me the idea on twitter. It was so cute I had to write it haha. I'm sorry I couldn't come up with something more original. Also cheesy af.

Tetsuya is not a poet.

Yet, he was always drawn towards words, lyrics, poetic language, metaphors and the like. Tetsuya is not a poet, always being told that he's too blunt, and forward and formal. He supposes it means he lacks finesse and the natural instinct poets seem to be born with.

It doesn't stop him from trying though. With bigger and smaller successes.

His mother and grandmother praise him for his attempts at being lyrical. He knows that it's not anything serious, but more of a hobby. It's relaxing and soothing, but exciting in its own way. Words have a way of connecting with one another.

For Tetsuya, composing a small limerick, or a haiku for his family, writing a letter to a distant relative or even writing a short story for class is pure pleasure, like putting pieces of a jigsaw together and discovering how they fit and what sort of picture they create.

Everyone says that Tetsuya has a way with words, but it's only half truth. Thanks to his low presence, he can take his time to work them over in his mind, put them together and then produce the 'perfect' sentence.

Of course, moments of incoherency or awkwardness happen, but he's rarely left speechless, though it's not his tongue that is sharp, but his mind, which is filled with words and images he analyzes quietly.

Tetsuya likes to write. Letters, text messages or emails. It gives him freedom to communicate. Some may call it dishonest and well, he can see where they are coming from. You can't take back what you said even if it's hurtful, or awkward.

The message is sent and received immediately. That's why Tetsuya is so glad, people assume that when he's not speaking it's because he has nothing interesting to say (they are right to a point), while most of the time he is figuring out words.

He knows how to say many things. How to comfort an upset classmate, how to talk to animals so they'd approach him without anxiety. How to talk to a child and make them listen and behave.

How to talk to strangers and friends and family and adults and kids, how to motivate and how to challenge and how to make someone stop being obnoxiously cheery or behave in a rude way.

But he couldn't say one thing.

_I like you Kagami-kun._

A few letters, a couple of words.

A million reasons why it was a bad idea.

He told himself he would though. At some point. When he found the right and appropriate words. He wanted to. It was welling up inside him, it wanted out so badly. For now, he stayed silent. Not speechless, just observing.

Tetsuya wasn't a poet.

By no means.

He was a coward.

* * *

 Tetsuya rushes to the classroom on a sunny morning, to make it first.

He _is_ first, though that doesn't really matter, since no one would notice him anyway.

He stops by Kagami's desk by the window and takes a big, calming breath, and then takes out a white, long envelope out of his school bag.

He gingerly places it in the middle of the desk, making sure it's just right in the middle and them leaves the classroom, and hides in the bathroom for a few minutes.

After a while he hears the bell and comes back to the classroom already being filled by students. He takes his own customary seat by the window, behind Kagami's desk and takes out his books and a pencil case.

He tries very hard not to look at the white envelope but it's difficult.

Kagami-kun bursts through the classroom entrance startling everyone, including Tetsuya, but he manages to hide it.

Kagami-kun isn't late, but he looks urgent. He searches with his gaze around the classroom, and then when he spots Tetsuya he makes a face.

"Hey." He says while he approaches his desk. "You stood me up."

Tetsuya blinks confused and then it clicks.

"I've sent you a message Kagami-kun. I said I had something to do this morning."

The thing was 'playing mailman'.

Kagami blinks confused and then produces his phone from his pocket.

"Crap! I forgot to charge it!"

Kuroko can't help but chuckle at that.

"Then you have no one to blame."

Kagami grumbles something under his breath, but let it go. He took his seat and started rummaging through his bag, taking out his books and notebooks. Tetsuya pretended to be occupied with revising for class, but he was subtly observing Kagami. Finally, he noticed the envelope. Curious, he paused in unpacking and took it, looking it over. It was unsigned; Tetsuya purposely left it like that.

Kagami shrugged when he didn't found any name on it and opened it, assuming it was indeed meant for him. Tetsuya held his breath when he was reading his letter. It was short, maybe a bit too short and a bit too poetic. He spend two evening on crafting it, still a little self-conscious, even though he didn't sign it, so there was no way for Kagami to know who the author was and what was their motive.

Kagami read the letter quickly, looked over the piece of paper, presumably looking for a signature. When he didn't find it, he folded the letter back and put it back in the envelope. He was about to turn around, probably meaning to ask Kuroko about it, but then the teacher entered the classroom and he didn't manage.

Tetsuya was...conflicted.

On one hand Kagami-kun's reaction towards the letter was...strange? Actually he had no reaction whatsoever. He didn't snicker, made a sound of disgust or confusion, he didn't blush (though that one...was actually a relief in a way) nor was angry. It simply had no impact on him.

But he didn't throw it out.

Tetsuya concluded that it was a good thing in the end. If Kagami-kun didn't had any significant reaction, then that meant he was unaware that Tetsuya was the culprit.

Maybe the letter was a bit too poetic. He would have to try and work a bit harder on the next one then.

* * *

_You are_

_The secret song of birds,_

_The thing that words_

_Can never name;_

_The fire_

_Within the flame;_

_The throb_

_Within the pulse;_

_The spirit that exults_

_Joy no grief can tame._

* * *

 Tetsuya brings the second letter the next day. He got a bit determined after school and managed to finish it in a few hours. His homework suffered because of that but that's what happened when your priorities differ from your teacher's.

The letter is a bit more....revealing. It's a bit of a gamble. He hopes Kagami-kun won't notice the obvious references to their life. He's not that well versed in literature and deciphering metaphors are not his best side, but he hopes Kagami-kun will live up to his expectations of being...a bit clueless.

And predictably he does.

He opens the second letter, reads through it quickly, stopping a bit longer during certain parts (and giving Tetsuya heart palpitations) before he tucks it back into the envelope and into his textbook.

Tetsuya can breathe normally again and soon the lesson starts.

* * *

  _When you meet someone_

_so different from yourself,_

_in a good way,_

_you don’t even have to kiss_

_to have fireworks go off._

_It’s like fireworks in your heart_

_all the time. I always wondered,_

_do opposites really attract?_

_Now I know for sure they do…_

_Alone, we were good._

_Together, we were fantastic_ _._

* * *

 Kagami-kun never mentions the letters. He never asks Tetsuya if he knows who put it on his desk or what it is.

It bothers Tetsuya for some reason.

The sole purpose of anonymous love letters (yes because they are love letters, Tetsuya admits to himself ears pink) is for the author to stay anonymous.

Tetsuya knows this, and yet he feels slight disappointment when Kagami-kun never mentions them. It's not like Tetsuya doesn't see him read them or hide them in his book. He could easily bring them up on his own, ask a question.

He never does it however and yet he feels irritated with Kagami-kun, which is unfair to the other boy.

Tetsuya supposes that deep down he wishes to be recognized. Figured out, for Kagami-kun to just _know_.

It's irrational, but it's also a new surge of determination, that causes him to create another letter. It takes him a week this time, he works extra hard on it, and prides himself for using such sophisticated language for his work.

He places the white envelope on Kagami-kun's desk gingerly and waits.

* * *

_I have_

_embraced_

_many_

_beautiful_

_memories_

_in my_

_life,_

_but the_

_one_

_I admire_

_the most_

_was when_

_I met you._

* * *

 And nothing.

No significant reaction whatsoever.

Tetsuya stops then, bringing letters for a few days. He thinks that the absence will maybe rouse a reaction out of Kagami-kun. Maybe he will ask Kuroko if he saw one on his desk this morning.

He doesn't.

Kagami-kun asks him about homework and basketball and practice and even invites him to sleep over during the weekend.

They talk as usual, about many different things, but Kagami never mentions the letters.

It's like he never left them in the first place.

Like he never existed.

That thought makes Kuroko feel anxious and uncomfortable so he pushes it away and focuses on acting normal.

Kagami-kun, predictably, doesn't notice anything.

Three more days pass, until Tetsuya feels impatient again and he sits by his desk, long after midnight and pours out his feelings desperately on paper.

* * *

_I stood there, at rest_

_Looking up, I saw your smile_

_You left me smiling_

* * *

 By the fifth letter, Tetsuya feels confident and perfectly safe, albeit still a bit disappointed. Kagami-kun's reaction is always the same.

He reads through the letter, hums to himself for a moment, before tucking the white sheet back into its envelope. Sometimes he pauses and squints, like he tries to examine the latter and it still gives Tetsuya a minor pause and makes him hold his breath for a moment or two.

Tetsuya brings the fifth letter, sees Kagami-kun go through it with the same procedure and then go back to pretending like it never happened. Lessons pass in their usual way, and then suddenly it's lunch break.

Tetsuya doesn't manage to take out his own food before five, white, very familiar envelopes are dumped onto his desk. He pauses before his eyes go wide as he stares at them, breath stilling and heart pounding.

It happened.

"Kuroko." Kagami-kun hisses and Tetsuya slowly lifts his gaze up and then promptly blinks in confusion. Kagami-kun doesn't look mad, or annoyed or disgusted. He looks...embarrassed. And alright, maybe a bit annoyed too.

"Yes?" Tetsuya manages to speak finally. Maybe he'll be able to pretend these are not his. Honestly he just...he just wanted to practice. To pretend that he could say all this and more. He's ready to apologize any minute.

Kagami-kun pushes the white envelopes in his direction. He scratches the back of his head, there's a blush high on his cheeks and he's scowling a bit.

"Okay, this is embarrassing and you're going to laugh at me but," Tetsuya holds his breath for a moment and waits for the other shoe to drop.

"But I need your help with these."

Pause.

Tetsuya blinks at Kagami-kun.

"E-excuse me?"

Kagami-kun sighs, but he doesn't sound irritated, just resigned. He opens one of the letters and starts reading out loud.

Tetsuya feels his cheeks grow hot at that, it's embarrassing to hear his own words being said in Kagami-kun's voice, even if they do sound clumsy.

He puts the letter in front of Kuroko and waits, fidgeting a bit.

"Um."

"I don't get it."

Tetsuya blinks.

"You don't get...what?"

Kagami-kun sighs again and alright now he does sound irritated. He grabs the piece of paper and points to a line and reads it out loud again.

Kuroko stares.

"What does it mean?" Kagami-kun finally says, angry blush on his face.

"I-" Tetsuya starts, he's taken a back. He never expected this sort of development, though he _should_ , because it is the most probable course of action with Kagami-kun. His behavior suddenly makes _so_ much sense.

He feels the anxiety of being forgotten and the danger of being discovered by Kagami-kun leave him and he releases a soft sigh of relief through his nose.

He goes with Kagami-kun through all the letters, explaining any and every line that Kagami-kun couldn't comprehend.

It's embarrassing and mortifying for him, having to decipher his own thoughts to Kagami-kun like this.

Kagami-kun's reactions are varied. Sometimes he snorts at how ridiculous at a phrase. Sometimes he asks more questions because of a confusing metaphor (by this point Tetsuya makes mental notes to quiz Kagami-kun from some of the given kanji because his level is _hopeless_ ), and then there are moments when Tetsuya explains a more...suggestive phrases in a way that make Kagami-kun turn even redder (if it were even possible) and duck his head in embarrassment.

"Thanks." Kagami-kun says and gathers the letters back, gingerly placing them in their envelopes.

"Um. What do I do with them?"

That makes Tetsuya pause. He peers curiously at Kagami who fiddles with the envelopes.

"You keep them Kagami-kun. Those are love confessions, and since the author is anonymous you can't really return them and reject them."

And then Kagami-kun does something which he didn’t expect at all.

He laughs.

Tetsuya is taken a back. He didn’t expect for Kagami-kun to laugh at his words, especially not at what he said. He doesn’t understand what is so particularly funny about it. When Kagami-kun keeps laughing he starts to feel anxious again. Is Kagami-kun laughing at him?

“Ah, sorry, sorry.” Kagami-kun waves his hands and wipes his face from tears of laughter, which subsides to a quiet chuckle now.

“Sorry, I got carried away there.”

Tetsuya frowns.

“Kagami-kun, what I said, was it so funny?”

“Huh? Yeah kind of.”

“Why?”

“Why do you mean _why_?” Kagami-kun isn’t laughing anymore, he just looks confused and sort of annoyed that he has to explain those things to Tetsuya.

“Humor me please.”

Kagami-kun shrugs.

“Because who even would confess to me in the first place.”

They stay silent. Tetsuya is shocked.

“I mean.” Kagami-kun continues. “I’m just a basketball idiot right? I’m stupid and I eat too much.” He shrugs again and offers Tetsuya a sort of forced grin. “Right? Who would even-“

"I would." Kuroko blurts out. It makes them both freeze as they look at each other. Kuroko hopes his face won't explode in red in a moment and that his gaze is even and level headed. He has to admit. His emotions got the better of him. It was just so _absurd_ what Kagami-kun said. So absurd and untrue that Tetsuya felt his whole being want to protest.

Kagami looks shocked, but to Tetsuya's surprise he doesn't blush furiously and stammers how Kuroko always says such embarrassing things, endearing himself even more to him.

No, instead he claps his mouth shut, lips forming a frown. He looks...pale actually. Brows furrowed.

"I-"

"Don't say weird shit like that." Kagami says and it's the first time Kuroko hears his voice being so...cold. Distant. He wants to explain, but then the teacher enters the classroom and Kagami turns away from him.

Tetsuya looks down at his hands, and feels really strange. Guilty and angry with himself. But also confused at Kagami-kun's reaction.

Then, Kagami turns in his seat for a brief moment, when the teacher is too busy writing the topic on the blackboard and whispers urgently.

"Especially if you don't mean it."

Tetsuya looks up, but Kagami-kun has already turned away again and all he can see is his tense line of his shoulders.

But he _does_. He does _mean_ it.

He wants to say, but he can't. He takes a pencil and flips his notebook and tries to pour his feelings into words.

The lesson drags on as well his pencil. 

* * *

_There’s_  
a secret  
word to  
which  
the doors  
of my  
heart  
are  
always  
open.  
It’s  
your  
name

* * *

“Kagami-kun.”  Tetsuya approaches Kagami during break before their club. They haven’t spoken for a while. Tetsuya gave Kagami a moment to cool down as well as sort out his own emotions. He’s angry with himself and disappointed for blurting out something like this. He understands why Kagami must have felt annoyed and snapped at Tetsuya. It wasn’t fair.

“Kagami-kun.” He touches Kagami’s sleeve briefly, catching the other boy’s attention. Kagami-kun looks and frowns.

“I’m sorry.” He bites his lip nervously. “It was unfair for saying something like this. I am really sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.”

He tries to placate the other boy. He does it partially because they would be starting practice in a moment and it wouldn’t be good for them to go into it with misunderstandings and frustrations.

And also because having Kagami-kun be mad at him, _seriously_ mad, makes Tetsuya feel anxious and uneasy. He doesn’t like it.

Kagami-kun levels him with a stare for a moment, before he sighs and slumps in resignation.

“’M not mad.” He gives Kuroko a look. “Anymore.”

Tetsuya nods relieved.

“Alright. That’s good. I’m still sorry.”

Kagami-kun shakes his head.

“Nah, it’s okay. I reacted too impulsively.” He shrugs and rubs the back of his head. “I know why you said it.” He blushes slightly and then offers Tetsuya a weak grin.

It’s genuine though.

“We’re cool. No worries.” He says and ruffles Tetsuya’s hair.

Tetsuya scoffs and brushes his hand away with a slight grumble and Kagami-kun chuckles. It makes Tetsuya quirk a smile of his own.

* * *

 Tetsuya stops with the letters then. He feels enough embarrassment for the both of them as it is, there is no point of adding fuel to the flame.

A few days pass, Kagami-kun doesn't mention the letters or the lack of any new ones and they proceed with their usual routine of school, basketball and post school hanging out together as they are used to.

But then, Tetsuya noticed an interesting thing happen, two weeks after he stopped leaving the 'anonymous' letters on Kagami-kun's desk. For one, Kagami-kun acts...disappointed? The realization hits Tetsuya unexpectedly and he's left feeling puzzled and baffled for a better half of the day.

It's obvious, because Kagami-kun, after two weeks of no letters starts to actively _look_ for them. Under his desk, under his chair, _in_ his desk, in _Tetsuya's_ desk even.

The latter actually is why Tetsuya confronts him.

"Kagami-kun. What are you doing?"

Kagami looks from his inspection under Tetsuya's chair and blushes.

"Nothing."

Tetsuya gives him a look.

"What were you looking for?" He doesn't let Kagami-kun change the subject. Kagami-kun puts his hands in his pockets and shrugs awkwardly.

"Nothing." He says again.

Tetsuya pursues his lips, but doesn't push. Class starts in a minute.

After class and club, Kagami-kun is the one to actually speak about it first.

"Um. Today." He says while Tetsuya is folding his practice clothes. "I uh, I was looking for it."

"It?" Tetsuya asks, though he already knows the answer.

"The letter." Kagami-kun admits, a bit reluctantly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I thought maybe it would be on your desk or something."

That gives Tetsuya a pause.

"Why? It's not for me."

"Yeah, but...ah, I dunno okay!" He blisters, a bit too loudly.

Tetsuya closes his locker.

"Are those letters that important to you Kagami-kun?"

"Well, yeah? I guess."

Tetsuya pauses again at that, Kagami-kun continues to fidget.

"They were...nice. I mean I didn't understand what they were getting at half of the time, but...they were nice."

Nice.

"Did you plan on accepting the confession then?" He asks, and maybe he sounds a bit harsh to his own ears.

Kagami-kun blushes slightly.

"N-no. I mean, maybe? Depends who was the author." He says, rubbing his neck and looking away from Tetsuya and then, it happens just for a moment, but Kagami-kun looks at _him_ from the corner of his eye.

Tetsuya feels his breath run short and his heart beat harder for a moment.

Did Kagami-kun just...?

"Or you know. Just thank that person? I mean it's only polite. I think."

After a pause he continued.

"And the letters...if it were possible. It would be nice if they were less fancy sounding." He paused and then added. "I'm just an idiot after all.

With that he left the club room

* * *

 The next day, Tetsuya waits and observes. Kagami-kun is still looking for the letter. He's also giving him suspicious glances from time to time, which is enough for Tetsuya to figure out that Kagami-kun either knows or suspects something.

He waits till the last lesson and for everyone to leave.

Kagami-kun is packing his things sluggishly and without any enthusiasm. Tetsuya uses that moment to approach him.

"Kagami-kun? Do you have a moment?"

"Yeah?" Kagami looks up at Kuroko. Tetsuya bites his bottom lip for a moment and then produces a white envelope from behind his back. Kagami-kun gapes for a moment and then his eyes go wide and he flushes.

"You?!"  

Tetsuya nods, his own cheeks pink.

"Me." He says and places the envelope on the desk, in front of Kagami. They pause then, a sort of tense silence settling between them. Kagami-kun is not moving though and opening the letter.

"You...you said that the others were too complicated, so I tried to be as clear as possible in this one." He takes a big breath. "I'm not sure I can be clearer than that though."

Kagami still gapes at him, face flushed red. He then closes his mouth and reaches for the envelope while Tetsuya's heart beats fast.

When Kagami-kun is finished reading his lips form a thin line and his face gets even redder. Tetsuya is afraid that he overestimated Kagami-kun's understanding. After all, if he doesn't feel the same he would still want to be friends and basketball partners right?

"Is that simple enough?" He can't help but ask quietly, but it still comes pretty loud in an empty classroom. Kagami-kun sighs and drops his head, before he looks up. He looks mostly annoyed and embarrassed, but not angry or put off, which Tetsuya takes as a good sign.

"You are really," Kagami-kun starts and then stops to look for an appropriate expression before he continues "a little shit."

Tetsuya blinks.

"Next time, just sign the fucking letter will you? Or better yet, just say something."

Tetsuya stays stunned for a moment, processing, before he understands and he can't help but chuckle in relief.

"Kagami-kun is really an idiot."

"Oi!"

Tetsuya chuckles again and hesitantly leans forward before he speaks in a hushed tone.

"I'm telling you now." And presses their lips together.

Kagami goes rigid and Tetsuya panics for a moment, but then Kagami-kun brings a hand to his face and he feeling leaves him.

He faintly hears the sound of paper rustling and then only the rush of blood in his ears.

* * *

_I love you._

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVENT WRITTEN ANY OF THE POEMS. I briefly thought about it but I decided not to because I'm shit with poetry lol. I took them from various sites though so sources!  
> 1 https://loveletterdaily.com/2012/04/26/the-secret-song-of-birds/  
> 2 https://loveletterdaily.com/2014/03/22/fireworks-in-your-heart/  
> 3 https://loveletterdaily.com/2014/06/02/another-tender-memory/  
> 4 http://www.uupetaluma.org/haiku-and-other-short-poems-about-love/  
> 5 https://loveletterdaily.com/2013/11/05/a-secret/  
> you can decide on your own if you think these are the ones Kuroko wrote to Kagami, I just liked them enough and thought they were a little less cliche. at least not as cliche as this fic lol 
> 
> also i changed the order of the fics, bc this one wanted out lol


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